midnight_stopwatchgirl: (chirpy)
[personal profile] midnight_stopwatchgirl
 30 Days of letters
Day 1 – Your best friend

Dear…. Non exsistence entity,
The term best friend puts too much enphasis on the need you put on a specific person to hold you up when you can’t do it yourse,f giving someone that amount of power over you, gives them the ability to throw you down and kick sand in your face,
If they’re the ones holding you up, whats stopping them from moving and sending you crashing to the rocks below?P

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried the “we’ll be best friends forever.” Candy cane sugar rubbish when I was younger, and you know what? I’m still pulling the fragments of Whitby cliff side out of my back (not literally)
The person in question was there I thought at my side for a very long time, but when they decided it was no longer useful for them to be my friend/ got bored, and found a new piece of tail he dropped me… that wasn’t the worst thing, the worst thing was that he didn’t drop me completely, he kept me hanging, “oh we’ll still hang out.” “I’ll still be around.” “ENTER GENERIC FRIEND ASSURANCE STATEMENT.” You get the picture,
I look back now and you know what? I didn’t register this for over 2 years, till I got faced with what a real friend was like, I’d spent 22 years living by an old definition that now only applied to me not to the person in question, I like to think I’m an honourable and Loyal girl, but it wasn’t till I discovered how cold my ‘friend’ had become that I realised the only person I owed my loyalty to in the two of us was me.

I mean When you defend someone to everyone who speaks ill of them, stand by them through some pretty ugly times and put up with their less tactful friends and… taste in rather plastic women you expect similar behaviour….HA!.
I bet I sound like a right evil overly Emo whiney b*tch “oh my lifes been so bad, I’ve had no real friends” But I’m not, I’m not even saying that, the ‘best’ friend thing has bad connotations to me now, and when something like this comes up I do tend to rant a little sorry,

BUT I hasten to add that thanks to Fandom and Bandom (namely of a certain Newport band) my faith in the friendship system has been somewhat restored so if any of my RL or Flist are worried I’m faking when I call them friends you can relax

For this first of the 30 letter Meme I’m calling out my REAL friends:

Em, Abi &Victoria, Angie & Kaz, Sam, Alex, Julliette, Becca, Megz, Tu, Kacey, Nem, Leanne &Lauren, Jade, Andy, Sharon, Yvonne, Natasha, Birgit, Estela, Natalie, Christel, Heather to name but a few…
What more can I say but? 2 things and I hope you take them well.
1. You are all insane :D in many different way, and I am glad of that fact, I have never laughed so much in my life as I do at cons and gigs with you guys
2. as well as being Insane, you all… well there isn’t a word for it, rock, rule, are awesome doesn’t seem to cut it.
I don’t get mushy, so lets say , that I am aware that I weird and sometimes even freak people out at times, but you guys see past the strangeness because you are all as strange as me :D. and I thank you for that more than I could in words

I Adore and am ever so gratefull for and to all my friends from all over, who I’ve met @ gigs, Whitby, Cons, FB and LJ but a special musketeer style, hats doff and bow has to go to Ms 
a_lanart [profile] aeron_lanart in all her forms who threw a T-shirt at me on our first meeting and brought me out of my corpse shell :D 

Dear[profile] aeron_lanart 
a_lanart (in all your forms   ;} )
I owe you most of the last 2/3 years, as well as a hell of a lot more in kind, *G* you showed me that being big and insane wasn’t something to be ashamed of, and finally (though as force of habbit I do say it) that being 5,5.5 is nothing to complain about…

great I’m supposed to be a writer and just when I need them to thank my friends words and my muses do one on me :D, okay if I can’t be as decorative with this as my dear Oscar or Lord Byron I’ll do it the easy way: to put into perspective just how cool Aeron is (for those odd few who don’t know)

• I am 25 and I had never got properly 100% drunk before until Aeron and I attended Hub 3 in 2009 :D

• I had a unusual problem with Trains till Aeron took me to Cardiff for my 25th to see Mr Barrowman in panto last year.

• The majority of my final years work that earned me my 2.1 in Uni is thanks to Aeron, but one in particular, “Amanda’s” which was later changed to “Alices,” so it wasn’t too obv who I based the matriarch on, came of a random outing with Aeron around her City, I’d never even heard about the Liverpool Blitz before let alone know how… sounds wrong to say cool, so I’ll say how Interesting it is/was.

• This last year or so I’ve been to 7 BG gigs, seen Pro-jekt Lacuna Coil, The Birthday Massacre, Obsessive Compulsive, John Barrowman and William Control (the last of who my old friends would never even consider going to see or even listen to) gone to Cardiff twice, been to 3 Conventions and its all thanks to Aeron

• I‘m getting used to the fact that every time in her car a song comes on her player that catches my ear. now 9.31gb of my external hard drive is now full of music shes given me :D or got me into so I’ve gone looking for, in about 15 yrs of being friends, ‘the one who isn’t worth naming so I won’t use a Harry Potter quote for them” traded 0 bands with me

• Speaking of music, Aeron has given me a new respect for some of the bands that founded the gothic movement in the 80s, most recent of these is The Damned,

So for all this, and so much more, to Aeron and all my friends I do something I very rarely do

*sends virtual hugs*
and remember


midnight_stopwatchgirl: (Default)

June 2012


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